Truth be told, I don't like kids.
Im sure yours are great but Im not a big fan. Ok, what I mean is you - the random lady in Safeway with your stupid kid throwing a tantrum because you never instilled the fact that "no means no" So know you are stuck with a blathering idiot of a 3 year old that runs your life...and who should not run mine. Yeah, your kids are the ones that I hate.
My friends kids, I like. They are great because you get to give them back at the end of the day - you guys have to pay for food, medical and college - I just get to be there to cheer them on at sporting events, enjoy their pictures on my fridge and buy them cute stuff.
I grew up an only child - I babysat once or twice and it was a disaster. I can still remember being with the Lunsford clan at grandmom Kellett's house watching then baby Taylor. Taylor pooped in her diapers and I about barfed all over myself. At 10 I pretty much convinced myself that if I ever had sex, I was never going to have one of those.
As I grew older I likened myself to a baby now and then. They sure are cute and soft and they smell clean. But they get older and turn into....well, us.
I really did not have much to worry about well with the rate my dating life was going in my 20's, I was pretty much not getting married until my uterus was dried and in a wheelchair. Obviously that changed when I moved into Todd's house in 2001. (I guess that is for another note some other time) I met my future husband Jeremy. I guess kids never really crept into the conversation. After all, we were young and busy and really enjoyed our careers. And then we got engaged.
Who knows when the conversation came up but I remember hearing him mention something about wanting kids. I sort of brushed it off that he was drunk at the time. But it kept coming up. Then it kept coming up at inopportune times - like in the afterglow, while we were drunk at a bar, while I was cleaning the house. And it usually ended with - "Well you don't have to marry me, you know I want kids blah blah blah." With that I figured I was going to have to like kids if I was going to marry this guy.
Well, one wedding ceremony later I was in it to win it. I just made a promise to Jeremy that I would wait a year after the wedding to go off the pill. After all, it had been over 10 glorious years that I was cheating pregnancy with those little yellow pills - give me one more year!
One year later I was still not ready and we fought and fought about it - usually I was the one crying in my room over it. I just could not imagine my life, MY LIFE, being turned upside down by some midget.
So I talked it over with my mom. Mom's have a sixth sense about things that are wrong with their kids and mom knew something was going on with me and the monkey. I told her that although I was sure I was going to be a damn good mom, I was just not into kids...nor birthing one. Although the thought of cute maternity clothes was peaking my interest.
Then she said it, "I was not into kids either - your father is the one who wanted a baby. And you ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me."
Can't argue with that now can you. It was the moment of truth.......