Friday, July 23, 2010

cocktails for dinner

Cocktails for dinner is happening more and more these days. Not like I'm some Tommy Gavin-esque alcoholic a la Rescue Me, it is a subtle realization. Maybe it is the realization that I am so tied up in (hopefully temporary) single motherhood/full time job/dog mothering that I'm simply too busy to eat. Or not.

Maybe I just like the convenience factor of liquid meals. I was always a big Jamba Juice lover.

As of late, by the time I get home from picking the baby up at my parents house it is usually around 6:30 or 7pm - and the baby needs to eat. So, I feed her and then get the bath ready. Sometimes the hanging out in the bathroom with the Short One portion of the evening involves a beer - I stopped buying beer when I realized it wasn't a good habit - bottles are deadly on a tile floor. Back to the night routine.... Following the bath it is an all out wrestling match to lotion, diaper and dress Short One in her pajamas.

And the best, she doesn't want to go to bed like a regular baby at 7:30 or 8....oh no. Someone likes to party until 9:30 or 10 - thus leaving the window of trashy TV and eating to a small one at that.

So, there I am in the kitchen on most nights - stuffing Point Reyes Blue Cheese into olives (I will rant about olives next time) and shaking the Belvedere vigorously with some vermouth and olive juice until it is frothy and cold. Once poured over ice I sip gingerly and play with the Short One until she tires out and cries and screams and blames me for keeping her up.

Olives are an entree on liquid dinner nights - I'm sure the calories are enough to constitute a meal anyhow. Plus, I'm getting my liver back into fighting form following childbirth and mad dieting - I can't let some young kid beat me at flip cup, I need to be in prime form for any spontaneous drinking games that may conspire at any time.

Cocktails, it's what's for dinner.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

WTF else???

WTF else? motto of my life. It seems that when it rains it pours - you know like when your baby throws up on your dog and you have to wash them both while trying to to throw up yourself. (God bless my lovely Jezzabelle for dealing with this herself in Mummphus)

It is one of those weeks, if not months. I came to the realization that this whole Im going to pay 3/4 of the mortgage thing was grossly undercalculated. I mean I could do it - if i wanted to stay at home, never buy anything at Target ever again and never drive to and from work for the rest of my life. Not to mention never getting backyard redone.

So im begging the Silverback that he needs to come back home - and I dont care if he takes up residence in a tent - he just needs to get back before Im using the Webber for heat. Ok, its not that bad but you get the drift.

I curse the banks for their shitastic loans, the city for their awesome property taxes that Im not sure what they hell they do with them and I curse myself - a lot.

Im done venting.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

swirling the drain

From time to time I find inspiration in other blogs and decide that it is time to continue to write here. I have a fear that somehow, someway this will all come back to haunt me but I have been good in the writing department. I figure if I keep it light and fun I should come out unscathed, right? Famous last words.

Light and funny is an odd pairing of words as of late in my life - the husband packed a bag, per my request and moved into a friends house three months ago. It is a long and dramatic story that I will neither bore you with or take the time to write about here. It would make for a great "he said she said" book. Which gave me a great idea that him and I should each write a book and publish it as one - when you get to the end of one story the other one is written upside down, like two tales of woe that forced you to turn the book over and start the other story. It is a great idea in concept, truth is it would never happen. Although I would love to hear his full dramatic tale of all the stupid things I have done and how he managed to come out unscathed and in one piece. I mean really, it is a Christmas miracle he survived my two months of bizarre hormonal behavior following the baby. I was so crazy I cried a few times and wanted to run away. *whew* how did he manage???

So, from this point forward I am managing two hairy, crazed idiotic dogs, a house, a baby, 3/4 of a mortgasge payment and hoping that my husband will have amnesia, come to his senses and come home. Hoping. It is a dim reality at this point but eh, at least the house is spotless.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Baby Cakes

Baby Cakes - my newest nickname for Fuss.

And yes, in between not blogging I had a baby, Lil B. I love her name don't get me wrong but things have morphed into a full on assault of the nickname variety. I'm sure you have kids that you have given nicknames to - I had a few as a kid growing up. But I'm thinking not on a scale as big as this.

You see, my husband and I are already nickname people. We have multiple nicknames for each other.....and then once we got dogs - forget about it. I'm surprised those two even come when I call them. Take for instance Chena.....

Chena (pronounced ch-eeee-nuh) turned into Beans, into Momma Beans, and into Mother Beans. And then there is frijole negro (she is black....and a bean) and lest we forget Lopey. Lopey came from my husband who one day called her Chensey, then Chen-suh-lope (something to do with her being related to an antelope ?) and now Lopey or Lopes. Seriously, this poor dog. (I will blog about Buddy's fabulous nicknames as well in the near future)

Baby Cakes you ask? Well, things started off with her being a fussy baby - so we called her Fuss, Fussy, Fussina, Fussenstein etc.....then I call her the Queen of Shorty and Shorty....and now Baby Cakes.....

This poor kid....going to go through life thinking her name is Baby Cakes Fussenstein. It could be worse, she could be Chensalope.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Daily Tardness

I'm a tard and I don't deny it.

I had just written a fabulous post explaining my absence from the Internet world - discussing Internet regret and babies. For some reason, when I tried to add a picture - a pop up about going back and losing information came up and then I clicked the YES button.

And poof, the thoughts to the world (or all four of you) were gone.

I have a bad bad habit of doing that. Among other things.

So here I sit in some damn comfy pants, frustrated that my rantings are now deleted and knowing that my fleeting thoughts are just that, fleeting. When I find my thoughts again I will be sure to let you know and post them.

Until then enjoy the new layout of my page. Clearly I am a tard in the world of making my blog look cool as well.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Martha Stewart has nothing on me

Ok, Martha has a lot on me....but this nesting thing is sending my craftyness into high gear. Between and Mod Podge - I am going to have some cool projects coming into the house.

I mean seriously - if I had known about digital scrap booking a few years ago I would have saved a ton of money from going to the scrap book store. Although the baby's first year I will do old school scrap style I can't wait to make some more is my first page I ever made on

Moving right I will Mod Podge the hell out of everything I first project is going to be the switch plate covers in Lil B's room. I took the arm rest covers on the chair in her room, will color copy them, then MP them on the switch plates - beats spending 18 bucks each on fancy ones at Anthropologie.

The largest project I really want to MP will be the single closet door in her room and my dresser. I have lofty goals but I cant wait - I'm just stoked that I have found solutions for my decorating drama!!!!

I'm such a Martha.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009


Im soooooo tired today - I had about ten different things I wanted to write about. But all I can think about is sleeping. This third trimester has taken the wind out of my sails.

I think it has something to do with all this snoring, which is a result of my membranes in my nose getting puffy from the baby. I thought they were joking when I heard this was a side effect - guess not! It has gotten so bad Monkey is sleeping in the other room and last night I woke myself up from the snoring.....only to find Chena with her paws in my head, snoring just as loudly.

The back is also hurting and so are the feet. I mean - OMG - my feet are killing me. Usually after a day of running around they are sore - but yesterday? I wanted to cry they hurt so bad.....

All I can say is this baby better be cute!